Magical moments happened in this workshop between couples who are willing to heal each other. Rudolf & Mirjam work in such a gentle and challenging way that I felt held and supported the whole time to work on the deeper issues that cause pain and hurt in my relationship.… I was inspired by the ease with which Mirjam & Rudolf modelled the way to stay conscious and be in partnership.
Gael Cooper, Counsellor, Christchurch, NZ

You have a way of focusing on the key issue (direct) while absolutely honouring participants' vulnerability
Eric Kiernan

I like the combination of skillfulness, intuition and respect that you both bring to therapy.
I felt like I was in good hands, and I am reasonably fussy about group leaders. Katrina, Queensland, Australia

Dear Mirjam and Rudolf
Thank you thank you thank you!
Attending this weekend workshop has been both an extraordinary priviledge and a great and most precious gift, and I am most profoundly affected by it.
I have so often struggled with my feeling that taking care of myself (by giving deep caring attention to myself) is somehow self indulgent. I have tried to make myself 'do better' by crticizing and rebuking myself, and regularly failed by taking this approach, and tried to cope by suppressing my needs or desensitizing myself to them. You have given me a taste of something entirely different and vastly superior to these ineffective strategies!
Experiencing your work, even as a spectator, was a watershed moment for me - I actually FELT what I have long strongly believed about the value and importance of this work, that it is a way to increase the freedom and capacity to love, and is not merely for the purpose of strengthening the ego. I absolutely resonate with your focus on the heart, and it feels to me that the way you work, and the way you ARE, puts the parts and activities of the self in proper perspective and right relationship to each other, such that attention to self is in service to the heart, and not just for its own sake. This feels absolutely 'right' to me and my conflict and dilemma dissolve and disappear as my hunger and need for self care no longer vies with my (mistaken) idea that that is only self indulgent. Your full embrace of the shadow (within, as I see it, this right relationship of the parts) is also a revelation to me - I begin to see this full acknowledgement of the shadow as a necessary part of growth, and feel the beginning of a falling away of my desire (and compulsive attempts!) to try and ignore it (in the hope that it will just go away and die and stop bothering me!).
I feel a deep and strong shift in my being, an integration I have been desperately longing for. I feel a deeper and more complete self respect than I have ever yet experienced, and the intuition that this will be an enormously powerful support of my capacity to relate in a deeper and fuller and freer and more genuinely and compassionately loving way with others.
I felt your unwavering and deeply caring attention to those 'working', to the work itself and each other. Your loving and wise gentleness and humour made me feel your 'challenge' to grow as an attractive invitation and precious opportunity rather than as shaming criticism or demand.
All of this feels like an extraordinarily significant and precious gift. I am wanting that it stay firmly anchored in my being. (And a little fearful that I will allow it to evaporate out of me - methinks I must carefully tend and nurture this fledgling emergence of a greater heart wisdom and knowledge and completeness!)
In addition to relishing and feeling nourished and taught by your big beautiful and wise hearts (AND the great space and bigger picture that you invoked for me) I felt you to be enormously skilled and insightful and perceptive therapists - a powerhouse combination of qualities!
I wish that you may reach many many many people with your work.
I wish that I have the opportunity to see and learn from and feel with you again, and wish also that one day I might do some personal work with you.
In the meantime I will carry with me (and work with!) the Welwood quote  - 'Exploring what closes the heart opens it.'
With love, honour, respect and great gratitude........
Ann-Maree Rundle - Sydney 08/08/2004

What an honour and a privilege to have met you both and to have been part of your workshop!  The work that you did with Barry and myself was so powerful and yet so subtle at the same time. I very much felt that what was created was a 'sacred space' for us to explore the deepest part of ourselves and we felt safe, nurtured and encouraged.  You helped us to find a key that day that has been eluding us for a long time and has broken us through to a new level of intimacy and commitment in our relationship - we did indeed find the key!  We have talked heaps since then and expanded on what we discovered and the shifts in both of us individually and in our relationship is astounding.  Thankyou so, so much for being willing and available to do this work with others and to share your love and knowledge.
Your encouragement for both us when you said you can 'see us working together' so uplifted me and renewed a sense of passion and excitement for what I believe is our purpose on this planet - and I so needed that encouragement right now when I have been feeling a little 'unseen' and discouraged.  Even though you didn't know us I felt completely 'seen' and 'heard' by you both and that feels like such a gift.
You are truly gorgeous, amazing people and I feel a sense of delight in having met you and travelling even one day in your company - I feel blessed and nourished. Your work is so full of love, respect, compassion, warmth and strength and I resonated with it completely.  I am inspired to keep seeking those qualities in my work also.
I do hope that we can meet again ... we would feel honoured.
Love and hugs
Dinah Buchanan, Counsellor & Psychotherapist, Sydney, and Barry Buchanan

My Reactions to Workshop
- Reignited in my gestalt learning
- Spurred on in my personal process of awareness
- Resourced in creativity in relationship
- Enriched by personal/professional “specialness” of Rudolf & Mirjam
- Enlightened in gestalt approach to couple therapy
- Challenged by my abhorance of group games/hugs
- Reached a spiritual discussion I had not expected – greater wholeness
Trish

Very gentle facilitation - respectful and safe group environment. I appreciated your focused, gentle style - I got heaps out of it - very valuable
Thank you
Jane

After the initial fear dissolved, I found the way that you both steered and guided the group made me feel relaxed and more open to look and address some of the blocks Molly and I have been struggling with. I was moved by the genuine concern and compassion you both showed for each member of the group. When I leave this afternoon I will take the knowledge I've gained and introduce it to my new way of working with my partner.
Thank you for sharing with us.
Love
Matt, Alstonville, Australia, Macademia Farmer

What you have done (in this week) is create a safe environment for the group to form its own culture. Through your honesty, sincerity and love you have helped us all share deepness that would have taken months to achieve (if at all).
Thank you so much for being here. I have very much enjoyed your presence and hope to work, play, share, laugh, cry, love with the both of you again. May warmth always bless your hearts.
PS: What you have done for the sanity of planet organic is very much appreciated. I wish you were here all year.
Katie, USA

You have given me so much and have become an integral part of my learning experience. Your availability, vulnerability, instinctiveness, vitality, and reality have inspired me as well as healed me. Most of all the tools you have given – I can recognise their absence in my whole life and how intrinsic they are and how much I need them. I think that the introduction of therapy to learning environments is a natural and also very important development.
You are truly pioneers
Erez Roter, Israel

I thank you both very much. I really deeply got what I needed to move deeper and forward.
Also from a facilitator's point of view, I really love the way that you work/be so beautiful, safe and powerful in that. I got plenty and yet would also really have enjoyed 2 days with you both.
Big love to you both
Rosemary

What a delight to share the experience of conscious partnering with Mirjam and Rudolf. I came to get some encouragement and affirmation for my process in relationship with the father of my youngest daughter, a person with whom I have shared great love and passion and great sadness and loss. The workshop helped me contact my true self and stay connected. The Gestalt was complete. I leave with new insight into my relationship with myself and David and with new friends.
Heartfelt thanks
Barbara Ellan, NSW, Australia

Thank you for your generosity of spirit. You said to me yesterday that you were concerned with safety. I experienced a very safe environment and felt you listened with great acuity.
Steven Lang

I liked how you encouraged people to investigate their feelings and vulnerabilities. I noticed how you gave people feedback about how you were experiencing their “stuff” and for me that felt very supportive and constructive. I leave with a feeling of connectedness.
Sue Attrill

I found this weekend workshop extremely enjoyable and a wonderful learning experience. I have had many insights at both, a personal and professional level. By that I mean, my work as a therapist will be enhanced, by observing the way Rudolf and Mirjam work with couples. I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to learn from them, and particularly admired their gentleness, authenticity and their understanding of each person's process. I also liked the way they established clarity for the couples who worked with them, and the way they included themselves in every interaction. I enjoyed the experience immensely and wouldn't have missed it.
Thank you both
Shirley Hughes, Gestalt student, Northern Rivers Gestalt Institute

Clear giving the space, beautiful with leading with gentleness into deep places. I felt protected. The flow between you both as a couple balanced respect, love and differences.
Thank you a lot
Margarete

Thank you for your gentleness and observation. I liked the spaces in between - and non-confrontation
Keith

Really enjoyable to see how everyone opened up to each other - a sense of honesty and support from others.
Non-judgmental, I think. We were pushed to go deeper to really get to a root of an issue.
Good how if you didn't want to offer information you didn't have to, just able to sit there and listen.

Mirjam and Rudolf bring enormous heart, openness, compassion, wisdom, skill and integrity to their work, which is about creating cultures of compassion and co-operation - for individuals, couples, groups, learning environments, society and the world.
They live and model what they teach, while always being open to learning more themselves. They have a wonderful talent for creating and facilitating a totally inclusive, mutualistic and participatory group.
The love, dedication, clarity, lightness and fluidity that they bring in their work is inspiring and empowering. They have enormous insight into what it is to be human and human interactions in these times, and a great repertoire of knowledge, skills, processes and exercises to help others learn the skills needed for compassionate, co-operative, mutually empowering and sustainable relationships.
What they teach is what is needed to create and maintain sustainable, loving relationships and groups and thus society.
I believe what they teach is an essential foundation or hub (core) for the creation of a world that is sustainable in all senses.
Mirjam & Rudolf teach awareness and skills fundamental for all who wish to help contribute to a better, more sane, just, compassionate, fair and sustainable world - how to communicate, co-operate and be together in ways that are effective, productive, harmonious, loving, safe, honest and compassionate.
Tracy Adams, Maleny, Australia

Very gentle facilitators that seek to create a supportive, gentle space.

Thank you, Mirjam and Rudolf. You have illustrated how infinite human development is. Within the rhythm of group culture, I have discovered countless things about myself including how to openly communicate. AND I had a lot of fun!
Other words for Mirjam and Rudolf:
Kind
Gentle
Caring
Supportive
Fun!
Spiritual
Insightful
Sue Erskine, London

Love your integrity and gentleness and respect. I am very envious of your relationship, not in a nasty sense though.
Ursula

Appreciation for -
Mirjam's ability to be very present with a person, to sense what they are feeling and thinking, to feed that back, and to sensitively and creatively facilitate their process of insight and communication with their partner while staying with their feelings, acknowledging their feelings. Also knowing how much to encourage people without pushing them beyond where they are willing to go.
Rudolf's ability to be very open emotionally, to feel strongly with a person and with their process, shedding insight that facilitates movement and to bring relevant theory and structure into the conversation.
Excellent workshop - I really got in touch with my feelings, especially compassionate sadness and joy. I loved watching couples' process and being able to contribute to that and have them contribute to mine/ours.
Michael Gardiner, Ballina, Rehabilitation consultant/Socialworker/Herbalist

I was moved and amazed by Rudolf's and Mirjam's style of facilitation. Gentle, compassionate and incredibly effective. I have experienced more "action" styles of facilitation but found Mirjam's and Rudolf's to be more powerful in moving one to a greater awareness and resolution of problems.

I felt safe in the environment you set up, Mirjam and Rudolf. Rudolf's introduction I connected with easily, mirrored my own story really. All in all a useful workshop for me. Thank you for making it reasonably painless for me.
Denis Wood

I enjoyed the balance of male/female energy and experience that you both brought to the workshop.
Hearing about your personal experiences of relationship, your inner struggles and how you have brought consciousness and choice into the practice of partnership has been inspiring, very moving and enjoyable.
The particular insights that each of you bring and the openness of each of your hearts enabled me to touch and gain insight into my own experience of being in an intimate relationship with my partner through personal work in the group.
I very much appreciated your wisdom and the knowledge and insights that you both have shared.
Thank you very much.
Molly Havyatt, Lismore, Australia

Dear Rudolf & Mirjam,
I love the space created by both of you which is partly due to the extend that you share of yourselves. It was all about support and compassion to be authentic. I loved the weekend and it has helped to improve my relationship with my wife.
Many thanks
Julian Guy

I feel grateful to the group for the two days. With their help it helped me recognise attitudes in myself. Beliefs I thought I would not budge on, I now see them as blocks to developing partnership.
David Colligan, Clunes, NSW 2480

Being in this workshop, I have experienced my heart opening to experience very deep emotions touched by the sharing of others.
I have also heard from other stories that reminded me of experiences in my past, and experienced the various emotions connected with those memories. As a result I feel very closely connected to these previously unknown people and through them connected to the whole of humanity.
Through these experiences I have connected with my emotional vulnerability. I feel a sense of kinship with the suffering and also with the moments of freedom and joy which are experienced by others. In this way I feel more human and more whole. This has moved me into being a more sensitive and integrated part of the larger world.
In terms of my marriage relationship, I have seen, through hearing the others' stories, that the pain, suffering, anger and disappointments in the first 15 years of our marriage have been the stepping stones to the close loving open bond that we now share. I see that it was not anything wrong with us in our relationship, but rather that for two people to relate intimately a great deal of awareness & growth & change is required. Without those struggles, our relationship would not be as authentic, honest and alive as it is.
One of the important things I learned is, that issues of different values or opinions between the partners do not have a right or wrong – they are actually problems co-creatively shared and can only be dealt with as such. I have also had the opportunity to see how far my partner and I have come this road and to give thanks for what we have achieved.
I love the word "mercy" as a guideline for feeling with the others. This mercy was exemplified by both Rudolf and Mirjam and will be my new touchstone. Their gentleness and patience was both, empowering and supportive. I have learned about feeling sadness and joy at the same time and as a result I feel much more whole.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
Linda Gardiner

Mirjam and Rudolf are builders of a new paradigm of relationships. They have enabled our group to establish a sustainable foundation of opening deep trust. Their toolbox of skills and techniques empowering each of us to take self-responsibility for our own learning and behaviours, as well as being clear about our individual and group needs and how they can be met. They have modelled sensitivity, humour, compassion and co-leadership superbly guiding and supporting the group into becoming a healthy organism. I would highly recommend Rudolf and Mirjam as facilitators of human development and social systems.
Robina McCurdy, Planet Organic, Course co-ordinator & tutor

Mirjam and Rudolf, where to begin? Thank you. Your work touches something deep within all of us. It is something so core that we no longer need to wear the masks that separate us – we are different but not separate! Your work has been especially important and affirming for me because it has reminded me of my past, of what I once held as so completely integral and had begun to forget it as I surrounded myself in situations not so therapeutically and compassionately minded. I feel so grateful for your gentleness and for your genuine interest in the process and each one of us. I am excited to reintegrate and grow this part of me again.
You two have a special gift - one that I have seen in my own parents, who I value in all ways. It is an honour to know you, learn from and with you – I sincerely hope that we will meet again!
Blessings, gratitude, joy and love
Chanti Smith, Grass Valley, California

The overall experience has been truly rewarding and insightful. Much of the content you included was not new to me, as I have thought and considered about the skills through my own experiences, however you have communicated them very clearly and concisely. This has really helped me reaffirm and gain a deeper understanding on the concepts, particularly boundaries, empowerment, compassionate communication, personal growth and mutuality. It has helped me to really look at myself and consider more deeply what these concepts mean to me. Also in saying that you have introduced completely new ideas to me which are really empowering in their own right.
Thank you very, very much
Gary Marshall, New Zealand

You complement each other very well - seem to fill in each other's gaps (if there are any), or offer different views on what the other is saying – so your message is very clear.
Thank you for your work. It is positive, helpful and gentle.
May you both be happy.
Looking forward to the book
Arohanui
Elly

My experience during this week with Rudolf and Mirjam has been so incredibly soul enriching. It's what I consider the flesh of life – pure juiciness – tools to dive deep into my self, my character, my being, the core of my soul - see the patterns in a clear, safe, loving, supported and nurtured environment thus enabling me to be gentle and loving with myself - and from here develop tools to work, share and grow with people and the Earth in truth, harmony, strength and respect.
The support and unconditional love shared by Mirjam and Rudolf rocked my world. What more to life?
Many thanks and much love
PS: I found I was able to gather so many tools to help me be more loving, accepting, gentle, honest and clear with myself and others.
My deepest desire *

Rudolf & Mirjam created for us a loving & safe environment in which we could show our relationship in all its aspects & work to improve it.
Lynda Kitchingham & Dylan Simson, Kaikoura, NZ

Their work helped to develop a safe group environment, where I felt comfortable sharing deep personal feelings.
I found myself evaluating my communication methods in many different styles.
I established new forms of compassionate communication through the exercises and examples that were shared.
I feel stronger about how I can personally grow, through the experiences I have shared with them and in our group.
Thanks
Gregory H. Felsen, Wellsville, NY, USA

Dear Mirjam and Rudolf,
Thank you for gifting us with your marvellous ability to draw out and recognise our truest feelings, skills and abilities as a group and as individuals. Thank you for leaving me, not with a diary full of existential angst, but a diary that expresses my true self coupled with the tools and empowerment which I will apply to staying true to myself.
I feel that I've just done a course in 'the self' and the 'self's relationship with others', that combine the cerebral structure approach of a university with the practicality and content of a polytechnic. I've been a student at the holistic school of self and now I am a skilled tradesman and thinker in an interdependent world.
Thank again
Brent Skinnon

My experience was one of being in a safe and supportive environment to explore my fears, blocks and dark spaces, enabling me to validate myself and my relationship with my partner. To recognise that our problems were shared by other couples enabled us to learn from and support each other.
Fay Basire, Christchurch, NZ